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Everything was fine until somebody touched the shrimp fried rice.

The Sport Archivescommunal office fridge is one of the most contentious areas of any office. Long lost leftovers go forgotten until it's hard for anyone to avoid the stench, unorganized stackers become apparent, and inevitably, someone's precious food or condiment will be violated. There are a few unspoken fridge rules for any office, however, the golden rule is to never, ever eat or discard someone's lunch. Ever.

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Comedian Zak Toscani shared a controversial tale of an office lunch gone wrong, which he says started Thursday evening after his coworker noticed their lunch had gone missing from the fridge. We were unable to confirm the events actually took place (this may be a big joke ... he's a comedian after all), but the story is so good, it must be read.

After the lunch went missing, HR apparently let the scorned man review security footage.

The lunch in question was shrimp fried rice, and had only been inside the office fridge for less than an hour.

Toscani found himself surrounded by the thief and victim.

That's when Toscani revealed the woman who allegedly stole the shrimp fried rice threw it away. She had left the office for the day, so there was no confrontation.

Shrimp dude seems like a good guy, and did not want anyone to get fired over the incident.

Now it's Friday, HR has sent an email to the workforce reminding them of the golden rule: Do not steal lunches, people.

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The alleged shrimp fried rice thief apparently decided to play dumb instead of admitting wrongdoing. Bold move.

But the victim had some 🔥🔥🔥to throw.

That's when the alleged shrimp fried rice thief called the victim a snitch.

Toscani maintains the incident is real, but we'd like to remind you he is a comedian and writer.

Keeping up the ~drama~ Toscani has decided to order three shrimp fried rice plates. Apparently, the alleged thief says she "loves" the food.

Oh. My. God.

The saga was exactly what the internet needed on a sleepy Friday. It has all the elements that make up a good story: relatable office drama, a scandal, lying, mystery, and of course, delicious shrimp fried rice.

We've reached out to Toscani for additional details and to confirm the story, but who cares if he responds. Just please enjoy the thread with the rest of the internet.

Many people decided to share their own lunch controversies.

UPDATE: March 30, 2018, 2:15 p.m. PDT

We regret to inform you that we may never know the alleged shrimp fried rice thief's motive, but it was still a wonderful tale nonetheless.

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